Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good day to everyone out there watching. This is Module 3 as part of our course on reducing social anxiety in communication in social interaction, so I’m going to give you strategies today to help mitigate the effects of social anxiety, and we’re going to specifically look at mindfulness practices to reduce the social anxiety that you might be feeling in various social interactions, communication contexts, speech acts, and events like that. This is going to help us build resilience in our daily relation.

Okay, let us start with what attention is

Okay, so let us start with what attention is. So it is essentially being in the moment of whatever you are doing. It’s not, you know, thinking about the future or thinking about the past or thinking about, uh, you know, something about something that happened. It’s about putting yourself in the present, okay, without any judgment and really thinking about the here and the now, which is a lot harder to do than you might anticipate, especially if you are somebody who has anxiety.

So it originated in, well, 2,500 years ago

So it originated in, well, 2,500 years ago. It’s part of the Buddhist tradition, and we have started really adapting it in the Western world, you know, probably quite recently. I mean, if you have thought about it, you probably have thought of mindfulness, you’ve probably heard of mindfulness in the, you know, context of wellness and self-help and professional development and personal, um, growth. This is certainly a buzzword from today, and, you know, it’s really about putting judgment outside of your thoughts, not keeping that focus on you or, um, you know, worrying about something or having anxiety about something, but really just letting go and not striving, just accepting, accepting the moment, accepting the situation as is without trying to change it or anything like that.

That’s essentially mindfulness in a nutshell

That’s essentially mindfulness in a nutshell, and we’re going to look at it in the context of reducing anxiety around social interaction so that you can feel more confident communicating with people. So in terms of the science behind mindfulness, regular practice of mindfulness, regular mindful practices, shrinks the amygdala, which is our brain’s fear center, and the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for reasoning and, you know, these kinds of things, grows even stronger. So we’re actually strengthening our prefrontal cortex, and then it also reduces cortisol, which is stress related, and if you have lower cortisol levels, you’re going to have fewer physical stress symptoms like that fast heartbeat, tensing up in your muscles, sweating, these kinds of things, and research also speaks to this.

Studies show an average 30% reduction in anxiety

Studies show an average 30% reduction in anxiety after a couple of weeks of doing consistent mindfulness practice, so the key word here is being consistent, developing a practice, developing a system, okay. So mindful breathing is one thing that you can do, focusing on your breath and being really cognizant of your breath, paying attention, and then whenever your mind wanders, try to come back to the breath. You can do a body scan where you go through your entire body and you visualize and you think about what’s going on and you feel the sensations, and you start from the bottom and you go all the way up, and then lastly, thinking about your thoughts, just imagining your thoughts come in and then don’t attach yourself to them.

So just have those thoughts come in

So just have those thoughts come in, notice them, and then gently push them aside, just thinking about them as clouds without, you know, focusing too much on them. And then, of course, we have a wonderful technique which is called the STOP technique. So the first thing you do is stop, just pause, pause whatever you’re doing, break the automatic pilot of anxiety, you know how you just start to let the anxiety take over you and you just kind of have it be automatic. We don’t want that to happen.

Two, just take a breath

Two, just take a breath, right, focus fully on your single breath, come back to your breath. Work, observe, so that’s what the O stands for. Notice, observe, notice your thoughts, notice your feelings, notice any physical sensations, and don’t judge any of that, just be aware of it, understand that it’s happening, and then lastly, proceed. So continue with your awareness, continue with your attention as opposed to being reactive, okay.

When it comes to assimilate attention into your daily life

When it comes to incorporating attention into your daily life, you can think about it in all side  of your life. You can think about mindful eating, right, noticing every bite, noticing the textures and the flavors and the aromas, and putting down your knife or your fork or your spoon between your bites. This is going to help you just with overall mindfulness practices because, again, anxiety can trickle into different facets of your life.

Thinking about mindfully walking

Thinking about mindfully walking, right, feel your footsteps hitting the pavement or hitting the grass, connecting with the sounds of nature, thinking about, you know, how you’re walking, what’s your posture doing, what’s your breathing doing. So I know a lot of people like listening to podcasts and maybe some music, but I encourage you to kind of be a little bit mindful when you’re walking because, again, when you start incorporating these mindfulness practices in different aspects of your life, you’ll also notice how it’ll be a lot easier to be mindful in your social interactions, and so that social anxiety starts to diminish.

Thinking about mindful listening

Thinking about mindful listening, right, actively listening, giving full attention to speakers, figure out, like, when your mind is wandering and then bring it back, turn the focus to what’s going on, and just try to do these a couple times a day, right. Even just one minute of deep breathing exercises can really help, and if you have a high-stakes meeting or a high-stress social interaction that’s coming up, then just take three full breaths before you get into that meeting or session, and you can even do this while waiting, and this is going to help you a lot with lowering that anxiety because, again, a lot of it has to do with a mindset shift that we need to make.

So focusing and practicing mindfulness

So focusing and practicing mindfulness can really be that first key step into reducing the overall stress that’s going to happen, okay. So some common challenges with social anxiety, we can think about, you know, racing thoughts. So when you have a thought, label thoughts as thinking without elaboration and then just return to the physical sensations where your breath is your anchor. So not forgetting to breathe, not forgetting to focus on that breath because it’s going to anchor you.

If you feel a little bit discomfort, comfort

If you feel a little bit discomfort, comfort, so maybe sweaty palms or racing heartbeat or, you know, quick breath, you can just adjust your position mindfully, right. So you can even make the discomfort itself the focus of your just gentle observation, notice that it’s there without judging yourself too much for it and saying, “Oh, I wish I wasn’t this nervous, why am I this nervous?” and then just beating yourself up over it. That’s not going to help, right.

Instead, we want to think about returning to the breath

Instead, we want to think about returning to the breath, returning to the positive mindset shift that we’re going to make, and, you know, another thing that can happen is you want to do these practices but you’re inconsistent about them, and then they’re not going to work as well. So if you really are committed to reducing your social anxiety, practice these mindfulness techniques, right. You can incorporate it into your morning routine or when you have your cup of coffee or even when you are brushing your teeth or, you know, taking a break over the day or having those moments where you are change from one activity to another.

So find a time each day to practice

So find a time each day to practice even something as simple as breathing, okay. So with mindful communication practices, try to ground yourself before speaking. So this is really easy. It’s just taking a couple of deep breaths while you’re feeling your feet grounded on the floor and, you know, feeling rooted in your stance because this is going to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. It will reduce symptoms of anxiety, so that grounding breath is going to work wonders.

Be fully present as you are listening

Be fully present as you are listening. Don’t mentally prepare your response, don’t think about something else that does have nothing to do with the conversation, and then whenever you want, return the focus back. The other method  that I really love and I work on with my clients is the mindful break  method . So do not forget to breathe and to break , and it is okay if there is silence. Just take that break, a entertain  break before responding.

You don’t have to jump in

You do not  have to jump in when somebody asks you a question. Just take a moment, break, and then you can respectful respond. This is also going to help you reduce that anxiety, it will help  to regulate your nervous system, and you will not be emotional about things as much because you are taking the time to just center yourself and pause before you action.